"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
-Norman Vincent Peale
I live by the quote above. I'm a believer. I'm convinced that our attitudes (thoughts and beliefs) determine the life we have. And experience has taught me that a positive attitude can make all the difference for those who live alone.
If you don't like the results you are getting in your life, take a look at changing the beliefs that are producing those results. You have a choice. Choose to focus on your strengths and your gifts. Use this time on your own to define what you want and to create a life that is consistent with your goals and values.
To get there -- to feel the way you want to feel - embrace a set of beliefs that will inspire and guide you. And avoid negative thinking. Negative thinking will only get in the way of your goal to feel better and to have the life you want.
TIPS TO AVOID NEGATIVE THINKING
- Just turn it off. When that internal dialog in your head turns negative, turn it off! Catch yourself and redirect your thinking. EXAMPLE: A negative thought such as: "Something must be wrong with me. All my friends are married, and here I am still alone," can be redirected into something more positive: "I may not feel on top of the world today, but I am resourceful and persistent, and I know that over time I'll be able to create a life that is rewarding and full of people and experiences that bring me joy." When those negative tapes start to roll . . . redirect your thinking!
- If you can't just turn off that negative thinking -- if it keeps seeping back in -- give yourself a good 5 minutes to bask in your negative thoughts . . . then stop it and redirect your thinking. Set a timer, if you need to. When the bell rings, it's time to move on and replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
- Be your own best friend. When the negative thinking and self-doubt emerge, talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend and give yourself some good advice. What would your best friend tell you? He or she would probably acknowledge your feelings, but go on to say, "Come on now; that kind of thinking will get you nowhere," and then remind you of how wonderful you are and how many people adore and count on you. Do this for yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend.
- Avoid hanging out with negative people. Complainers, whiners, moaners . . . these people will bring you down, reinforce your fears, and undermine your confidence. Avoid these people. Instead, reach out and nurture relationships with people who love life and who want to live fully, regardless of their marital status. Enthusiasm is contagious. Put yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and about life.
Healthy change and personal growth is next to impossible when one is immersed in negative thinking. Want to feel better about being on your own? Change or shift your thinking. Living without a spouse or significant other need not be a period of diminishing opportunity. It can be a time of expanding possibilities!
