"I'll end up alone and penniless." That pretty much sums up one of the biggest fears women have when they find themselves living alone in mid-life, whether it be by divorce or the death of a spouse.
I discovered this seemingly universal fear around money management when I interviewed over 50 women in preparation for my 3-part workshop called, "Living Alone: How to Survive and Thrive on Your Own." I wanted the workshop curriculum to be relevant, so I conducted these interviews to identify the key concerns of women on their own. I learned that managing finances was near the top of the list.
It's not uncommon for women to hand over the purse strings and financial decision-making to their spouses. It's the "way it was" for many traditional couples, when the man was the primary bread winner, but it's also the "way it is" for more progressive couples who simply want to divide and conquer when it comes to managing household responsibilities. Problem is, once a woman is out of financial the loop, she often remains uninvolved forever and that puts her at a real disadvantage. Her knowledge of and self-confidence around money matters becomes very diminished.
Simply put, when one spouse -- man or woman -- controls the purse strings, the other spouse can be left in a vulnerable position when the marriage ends. It was this vulnerability and fear that I heard during my interviews, which is why I devote an entire class to getting one's financial house in order.
To make sure I am as helpful as possible, I invite Dale Rehkopf in to join me as co-facilitator for this important workshop segment on money management. Dale is an Investment Representative with Edward Jones and together we've compiled a few tips to help women gain control of their money and make progress toward financial automony:
Come out from under the covers. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to financial management. Women need to find the courage to get "up close and personal" with their financial circumstances. I avoided looking into my financial mirror for years until the fear of not doing anything was greater than the fear of facing reality. Fear, in my case, turned out to be a blessing in disguise - a real motivator. It prompted me to get my act together and ask for help. There's no time like now to take charge of your money and your destiny.
Find your stuff. David Bach, author of Smart Women Finish Rich says it best: "Getting organized is one of the keys to financial security. It begins with finding your stuff." Before you can plan your financial future, you need to figure out where you stand financially in the present. It starts with gathering together all your financial documents in one place. I bought a Tupperware filing bin and hanging file folders and started labeling the files according to the instructions in David Bach's book. It didn't take as long as I thought it would and I felt a great sense of accomplishment once I had everything collected together. And guess what? This simple step resulted in my feeling in more control. Almost immediately, my fears began to lessen.
Get help, if you need it. Once I had my "stuff" together, I was in a much better position to make sense of my financial situation. I continued to work through Bach's book, but I found I needed more - I needed a real, live person to help me take the next step and make more progress. That's when I engaged the help of a financial representative, who helped me align my spending, saving and investing with my values. He's been an invaluable coach and motivator. If you're like me, you may benefit from engaging a professional. If you're more self-directed and inclined to educate yourself on money matters, there are excellent resources out there in books, magazines and on the Web.
Peace of mind and a sense of empowerment are the rewards for women who get their financial house in order. Solid information, personal discipline and good help from a trusted advisor can turn financial uncertainty into financial mastery. With increased self-confidence and financial security, you can better protect your future and more fully embrace the pleasures of living alone . . . with a little left over to splurge on something special just for you.
