When Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz closes her eyes, clicks her heals, and whispers, "There's no place like home," she is hoping to be transported back to that place of security, warmth, and love . . . and into the arms of her adoring Auntie Em.
Ahhh, the comforts of home.
Creating a soothing and safe haven for myself after my divorce was an essential part of starting my life over as a woman on her own. Intuitively, I knew I needed to walk through my new front door and into my very own "warm hug," a place where I would be embraced and inspired by all things familiar and friendly.
So I set out to create a retreat - a personal sanctuary where I could feel safe and sound. It was what I needed at the time, but since then, my home has evolved into much more than just a nurturing place. My living space became a pallet of personal expression where I gained a true appreciation for the value of having a "room of one's own."
With your self as your sole guide, your kitchen, living room and bedroom become portraits of your true nature, your values, your loves and your life. Making a home your own becomes an adventure in autonomy and a chance to explore and express - perhaps for the first time in your life -- your own tastes unleashed, without compromise. It can be liberating. Energizing. Even healing.
One of the first things I did when I bought my own home (after I tore out the green shag carpet!) was to frame and display photographs of my family and friends. I wanted to see their faces when I entered a room and to be reminded of good times and the love that surrounds me. This was just the beginning of a series of decisions that made being in my own space not just pleasant, but lovelier and more satisfying than I could have imagined.
Paying attention to your surroundings can have an immediate and lasting impact on how you feel about yourself and about living alone. What better time than now to put out the welcome mat and make your home your own. Here are some tips:
Follow your heart. You're on your own now. There's no one around to second guess your decisions or rain on your preferences. You are free to express yourself in the colors you choose, the fabrics, the art and the accessories. Don't know where to start? Look at your wardrobe. There, you'll find a reliable reference for your style and tastes in color.
Banish the negative. If something makes you feel bad when you look at it, either get rid of it or repair it. Ratty dishtowels, old lampshades, faded curtains: Their very existence in your home can dampen your mood and erode your self-esteem. Don't underestimate the negative power of unsightly or outdated objects.
Exhibit the positive. On the other hand, surround yourself with images and objects that lift your spirit and reinforce who you are or want to become. Photos of loved ones work for me. So do fresh flowers and original pieces of art I collect on my travels. I believe in the symbolic nature of objects and that you can find inspiration in what fills your home.
Reduce the clutter. Closets and drawers crammed with useless stuff, dark corners, cramped spaces - all of these contribute to negative energy according to the tenets of Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese practice of organizing space to achieve harmony and balance. I'm a true believer in this concept, and it's made a positive difference in my life. A good book on the subject is Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. Check it out.
Decorate with your senses. Is the hollow sound of loneliness bouncing off your walls? Is there a musty smell wafting up from the basement? Are your cabinets sticky? When I started paying attention to more than just visual aesthetics, my home became even friendlier territory. Transform your solitary space by creating a beautiful atmosphere filled with your favorite music, pleasing aromas, and clean surfaces.
Your home can become an oasis of independence and autonomy - a place that's unconditionally yours, absent of compromise. Claim it. Fill it with who you are. Because once you make your personal space your own... there's no place like home.
